By Norm Frauenheim
LAS VEGAS — At times, it was bizarre. At times, downright goofy. It was also long-winded, sometimes dull. Yet, it was also unpredictable, often entertaining and controversial enough to keep everybody interested.
Welcome to a boxing news conference that has begun to vanish, especially the heavyweight variety. But it was back Thursday, which is another of way saying the bully pulpit witnessed the return of Don King, malaprops and all. He’s an octogenarian, but there’s still a boom in those 83-year-old vocal chords.
For King, talking is like breathing. He exhales strange references, twisted metaphors and unexpected references the way the rest of the world exhales oxygen. Pretty much all of the time. It lasted for at least two hours at the MGM Grand.
Deontay Wilder and Bermane Stiverne were supposed to be the featured performers. After all, they fight for the WBC’s version of the heavyweight title Saturday night in a Showtime-televised bout. Wilder, of Alabama, and Stiverne, a Haitian, played their roles in what was a performance art.
“I’m gonna put the Haitian on vacation,’’ said Wilder, who is as good at the rhyming game as King.
But most of the rest of the show belonged to King, who wore a familiar denim jacket covered in flags, sequins and who-knows-what-all. He talked about former Army General and CIA director David Patreaus, who has been accused of telling classified secrets to a woman in an alleged affair
“Send a national, American hero to jail for a mistake so many people make?’’ King said. “That don’t send out a good message. Pray for Prateaus.’’
Pray, too, King said, for Nevada Senator Harry Reid, who hurt himself on a treadmill.
“Falling off treadmills and things, that’s really disasterly,’’ said King, who also found time to wish Golden Boy Promotions vice president Bernard Hopkins a happy 50th birthday. “Pray for Harry Reid.’’
Pray, too, for those of us who were trying to figure out what King would address next. Global warming? Islamic terrorism? Obama care? At some point, however, the immediate task at hand had to move front and center. Trying to sell a heavyweight fight these days isn’t easy, especially amid talk and only talk about whether welterweights Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather Jr will fight on May 2.
But King hasn’t lost his voice, or his salesmanship, or his ability to counter trash talk with a quip of his own. King promotes Stiverne.
During Wilder’s turn at the podium, he turned to King and said:
“I heard, Don, that if there’s a chance of your guy winning, they’re going to get rid of you,’’ said Wilder, who went on to suggest that Stiverne would sign with Mayweather Promotions.
Wilder’s source? Connect the dots: Wilder’s advisor is power broker Al Haymon, whose No. 1 client is Mayweather.
“Don’t feel bad when you lose,’’ King said to Wilder when he returned to the podium and began a long-winded intro of Stiverne. “I know you think it’s your time, but there’s going to be an interruption for refreshments.’’
The interruption, King promised, would be Stiverne. The guess is that Stiverne will also be the refreshment. We tried to ask King about that, but he was already off and running with some speech about George W. Bush. Or was that Jeb Bush? Maybe both. But you get the idea.
The unflappable Stiverne did his best to answer the rumor posed by Wilder.
Stiverne stood at the podium, turned to King, shook his hand and called him ”my promoter, who I’m staying with. Now, you’ve heard it.’’
We heard a few other things, too.
Wilder’s 32-0 record includes an astonishing 32 stoppages, all within four rounds.
“I’m going to keep your record clean, cause you ain’t getting past four rounds,’’ Stiverne (24-1-1, 21 KOs) said to Wilder. “And that’s a ridiculous suit you’re wearing.’’
The rhetoric intensified. Wilder called Stiverne “a tourist with a belt.” Stiverne promised Wilder that he’s “gonna get hurt, hurt bad.’’
After the talking was done, they posed in a news-conference ritual. They stood there, eye-to-unblinking eye, for several minutes. The stare-down ended only when both were pushed away in opposite directions. Then, the talking resumed.
“Heh-heh-heh,’’ King chuckled.
A man, who has seen it all, was happy to see it all over again.