By Bart Barry-
Saturday in Los Angeles undefeated 6-foot-9 Brit Tyson “The Gypsy King” Fury will toe the line with undefeated 6-foot-7 American Deontay “The Bronze Bomber” Wilder in 2018’s most-interesting heavyweight title match. Wilder is a professional athlete who fights like he’s insane. Fury is an insane man who boxes conventionally. Either the affair will be insipid-cum-suspenseful, with Wilder pansearing Fury after nine or 10 eventless rounds, or it will be suspensefully insipid, ending without Wilder landing but one of 1,000 threatened punches.
Embrace the madness – that’s the only sage council for this week. Nobody has any idea what will happen. We’ll all opine freely in a sporadic if predictable game of casual-capture, as none brings the casuals coming like heavyweight prizefights, and those of us who are wrong will disappear from the prediction game till January and those of us who are right will crow toldyousos, keeping and publishing an embellished tally of our past predictions, till everyone is bored(er) of us.
The wisest among us forego the prediction game altogether, the wiser among us forego the prediction game unless we believe fully in an underdog, the gormless among us predict the favorite will win then hogstomp about fightnight reminding those who disagreed what fortunetellers we be. It’s most fun to have no idea what will happen and nearly as much fun to cheer the longshot and anxiously funless to pick the favorite, in the name of being right, and see the underdog transcend himself.
If you’re reading this you’re serious enough about our beloved sport to know following it for any reason but fun is a fool’s errand. You’re also, one hopes, introspective enough to look deep inside your reasoning about Saturday’s match and conclude how much fun it will be, how wickedly suspenseful, when the opening bell rings and you get to cheer for one loon or the other without much idea what comes next.
There’s a good chance not a damn thing, actually, comes next. For 36 minutes, that is, absolutely nothing might happen. Fury is a good boxer but not much of a fightnight entertainer; Wilder is an entertainer but not much of a boxer. From time to time fortune commands such a combination entertain us mightily but most of the time it does the other thing.
If every experience in a lifetime is equal parts impossible and inevitable till it happens, this fight shall make it manifest in real time. If Wilder clocks and clears Fury it will’ve been inevitable an undefeated Olympic bronze medalist should wallop to snot a dilettante exchampion struggling with every known form of autosabotage. When Fury throws a nohitter Wilder’s way it will’ve been impossible a barely tested freestyle puncher might land on a man who slaptaunted Wlad Klitschko 12 rounds deep.
Pressed to choose an outcome, I’d lean impossible, but the good thing is I’m not pressed at all, and the better thing is I’m choosing anyway because it’s fun to watch with a rooting interest and it’s fun to be wrong, too. Were Wilder a product of any but the PBC I’d consider this match a farce, probably, thinking any pay-per-viewer be courting the swindling, Gypsy King and all. But PBC’s approach to boxing has been: Sign everyone, match them with no one, and try to seduce broadcasters.
PBC acquired Wilder via its quadrennial Olympic signing spree then kept him miles from any honestly ranked contender till year 10 of his career. That’s no typo: Deontay Wilder began fighting professionally in 2008 and didn’t get tested till 2018. For a little context, Mike Tyson lost to Buster Douglas in the fifth year of Tyson’s career; Tyson had unified the heavyweight division, peaked and begun his descent five years shallower in his career than Wilder was when he escaped Luis Ortiz in March. For a little more context, Muhammad Ali had won the heavyweight championship of the world from Sonny Liston, defended it nine times, endured a three-year exile, returned to the ring, fought a couple tuneups and lost a decision to Joe Frazier before he was 11 years in prizefighting. There’s no need to pretend times’ve changed is the reason for Wilder’s dossier, either; Anthony Joshua, world’s other heavyweight champion, has accomplished more than Wilder, in five years.
No, by any precedent, historic or otherwise, Wilder is a matchmaking miracle – it’s miraculous in what was often considered a dying sport so many willing victims were excavated from the heavyweight mines. Yet here Wilder is, unencumbered by his resume and earnestly wondering why so many Americans haven’t an idea who he is. Well.
There’s a certain horsesense among even casual fans that values competition more than hyperbole-followed-by-showcase-followed-by-hyperbole. It’s why market forces have shown HBO Sports’ signature-destination philosophy to a signature destination; ain’t nothing compelling about broadcasting LeBron dunking on highschool teams whilst panelists extrapolate how he might’ve fared against Wilt.
Wilder is Saturday’s wildcard. Loopy as Fury’s last few years have gone, variable as his psyche may be, he’s still more of a constant when the bell rings. He’s odd and weird and does everything on an offbeat but he throws the 1-3-2 like a man taught how. Wilder primarily crawlstrokes crazy at shorter men, bodies them backwards incidentally, then hammerstrikes their bowed heads. He inventively uses others’ disbelief against them.
The question, then, is: Can Wilder get Fury to hold in his mind any belief long enough to turn it disbeliefwards?
Each man has the best chance of besting the other man by being himself. Wilder would be a fool to try boxing Fury, and Fury would be a greater fool if he tried to slug Wilder. In the decisive moment that should come in the final four rounds Saturday, when Fury’s lack of conditioning greets Wilder’s abundance of it and Wilder mashes Fury’s head with something dastardly, both men will go hotblooded mindless and their basest combative tendencies will prevail. Wilder will appear a man committed to murder and Fury his resigned victim, and if the referee goes for it Wilder will attain a new stature, and if the ref doesn’t all three scorecards should go 119-110, Fury.
I’ll take Fury, UD-12.
Bart Barry can be reached via Twitter @bartbarry
